Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Very First Abby Show - October 2004

My niece Abby, who turns 11 this May, recently starred in "The Abby Show," which I posted here on January 16th. However, her true camera debut happened back in October 2004 when she was only five! I recently rediscovered that first recording on a backup DVD, and Abby and I decided it was too good not to share.

You’ll notice her moving around a bit—the camera viewer was actually mirrored, which made staying in the center of the frame a hilarious challenge for her. She is absolutely adorable in this, and I hope you enjoy "The Very First Abby Show."

 
 

Monday, February 08, 2010

Winter Wonderland

We woke up to a beautiful surprise this morning: a delicate layer of snow dusting the trees. While I’m not usually a fan of the winter cold, I can’t help but love the landscape when God adds such a breathtaking touch.
 

 
Across the street at St. Louis Catholic Church, the view was particularly stunning. My friend and caregiver, Dianne, was kind enough to snap this photo before the sun melted the magic away. It was the best of the bunch, and I wanted to share it with you. Enjoy the view—I certainly am!

Saturday, February 06, 2010

The Old Fisherman

I really love inspirational stories and here is one that a friend emailed me. I also looked it up on Google and found it at another website. It was written by Mary Bartels Bray, reprinted from Guideposts, June 1965.

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to out-patients at the clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. "Why, he's hardly taller than my eight-year-old," I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body. But the appalling thing was his face ... lopsided from swelling, red and raw. Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, "Good evening. I've come to see if you've a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there's no bus 'til morning."

He told me he'd been hunting for a room since noon but with no success. No one seemed to have a room. "I guess it's my face ... I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments..."

For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me. "I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning."

I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch. I went inside and finished getting supper. When we were ready, I asked the old man if he would join us. "No thank you. I have plenty." And he held up a brown paper bag.

When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk with him for a few minutes. It didn't take long time to see that this old man had an over-sized heart crowded into that tiny body. He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five children, and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury.

He didn't tell it by way of complaint. In fact, every other sentence was preface with a thanks to God for a blessing. He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him the strength to keep going.

At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children's room for him. When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and the little man was out on the porch. He refused breakfast. But just before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said, "Could I please come back and stay the next time I have a treatment? I won't put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in a chair."

He paused a moment and then added, "Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don't seem to mind."

I told him he was welcome to come again.

On his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the morning. As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so that they'd be nice and fresh. I knew his bus left at 4:00 a.m. and I wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for us.

During the years he came to stay overnight with us, there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden. Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery ... fish and oysters packed in a box with fresh young spinach or kale ... every leaf carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these, and knowing how little money he had made the gifts doubly precious.

When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our next-door neighbor made after he left that first morning. "Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away! You can lose roomers by putting up such people!"
 
Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice. But oh! If only they could have known him, perhaps their illness' would have been easier to bear. I know our family will always be grateful to have known him. From him, we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.
 
Recently I was visiting a friend who has a greenhouse. As she showed me her flowers, we came to the most beautiful one of all ... a golden chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms. But to my great surprise, it was growing in an old dented, rusty bucket.

I thought to myself, "If this were my plant, I'd put it in the loveliest container I had!" My friend changed my mind.

"I ran short of pots," she explained," and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn't mind starting out in this old pail. It's just for a little while, until I can put it out in the garden."

She must have wondered why I laughed so delightedly, but I was imagining such a scene in heaven. "Here's an especially beautiful one," God might have said when he came to the soul of the sweet old fisherman. "He won't mind starting in this small body."

All this happened long ago ... and now, in God's garden, how tall this lovely soul must stand.
 

Sunday, January 24, 2010

"In God We Trust"

I occasionally receive emails that promise miracles in exchange for forwarding them to others. While I usually appreciate the uplifting content, the "chain letter" format is frustrating—and I know I’m not alone in that feeling. I’ve shared an inspirational message below, but I’ve removed the chain-mail ultimatum at the end.

Since our currency acknowledges God, it makes me wonder about those who want Him removed from schools and government. It seems contradictory to be so judgmental of faith while having no problem accepting money that bears His name.

“In God We Trust”
 
We’ve all heard that finding a penny brings good luck or a "message from an angel," but I recently encountered a different twist on that old story.

Years ago, my friend Arlene was nervous about spending the weekend with her husband’s wealthy employer. His lifestyle was pure extravagance—mansions, yachts, and fine dining. As they approached an exclusive restaurant one evening, the boss suddenly stopped to stare at the pavement. There, among some cigarette butts, lay a single, darkened penny. To Arlene’s surprise, the wealthy man reached down, picked it up, and pocketed it like a treasure.

Unable to contain her curiosity during dinner, Arlene asked if the coin was a rare collectible. The man smiled, pulled the penny out, and asked her to read the inscription.
 
"United States of America?" she ventured. "No, keep reading," he replied. "One cent?" "Further." "In God We Trust?"
 
"Exactly," he said. "To me, that coin is a message. It’s a reminder to stop and ask myself if I am truly trusting God in that moment. I pick it up as a prayer—a response to Him. I cherish it more than gold because it starts a conversation with my Creator. Fortunately for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"
 
I found a penny myself today while I was caught up in worry. I saw those words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. I got the message. God is patient indeed.

Back to my personal blog…
Reading this story reminded me of a classic Irish blessing I’ve heard throughout my life. A quick search for a few key phrases led me right to it.

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.


May God be with you and bless you:
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.


May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.


May green be the grass you walk on,
May blue be the skies above you,
May pure be the joys that surround you,
May true be the hearts that love you.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mystery of the Lost Remote Control

If I had a dollar for every time I lost something, I’d be at least $500 richer. The frustration of a missing item is bad enough, but the real struggle is the mental "itch"—I simply can’t focus on anything else until the item is found.

 

Take our camcorder remote, for example. After three weeks of searching, I gave up and asked my brother, Russ—an eBay veteran—to "Buy It Now" for me. We hadn't used the camera in a year, and I suspected it might have been left at a family reunion. I figured it was a lost cause.

 

Naturally, two days after Russ bought the replacement, I had a "Eureka!" moment. I remembered a specific box from 2008, back when I was recovering from foot surgery. During my recovery, my office was moved into my bedroom, and my small desk items—including that remote—had been swept into a nursing home storage box during the move back.


My memory is funny that way. I can’t remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, but I can "rewind" a year to find a remote. It’s the same with names; I once spent an hour lying in bed reciting the alphabet just to remember my cousin's son, Adam.

 

Does your memory ever go on strike like that? Do you use the alphabet trick too? If so, welcome to the club!


Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Abby Show

On December 31st, during Christmas vacation, my 10-year-old niece, Abby, came over and did a little performance in our living room. She wanted to do something for awhile, but with school and other family activities, this was the first chance we could find time to do it.

Abby created the ideas all on her own, and if I do say so myself, she did a really good job. The entire show was over 16 minutes, so I broke it down into three smaller shows for faster uploading. We used a Canon camcorder and I edited it with iMovie on my eMac.

The song for the opening credits includes one of Abby's favorites, Fireflies sung by Owl City. You can watch the music video here at YouTube.

The sponsors for Abby show were gifts which she received for Christmas and she wanted to share them with everyone. They include the Philips GoGear 4GB Vibe Mp3 Video Player, Project Runway Projector and the book, Diary of A Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney.
 
I hope you enjoy watching Abby's show as much as Abby, Rick and I enjoyed being a part of producing it.





Sunday, January 10, 2010

Music Galore on YouTube

From Transistor Radios to YouTube
Looking back at the early 70s, I have such vivid memories of sitting with my transistor radio and a tape recorder, hovering over the 'record' button to catch my favorite songs. It’s funny to think about that now, when any song we want is available on YouTube in an instant!
 
Lately, I’ve found myself drawn to country music. I look for tracks that offer either an inspirational message or an upbeat tempo—and I’m especially happy when I find a song that brings both. 
 
To me, music is a gift that soothes the soul, providing a much-needed escape when life gets hectic. Since there are so many wonderful videos out there, I wanted to share a few of my personal favorites with you. If you’re looking to relax, I encourage you to look up your own favorites; the perfect song is always ready and waiting.
 





Martina McBride - Anyway
 



Lee Ann Womack - I Hope You Dance
 
 
Jimmy Wayne - I Love You This Much
 
 
Sara Evans - I Could Not Ask For More
 
 
Diamond Rio - I Believe
 
 
Shania Twain & Bryan White - From This Moment On
 

Josh Turner - Long Black Train
 

Sarah McLachlan - Angel
 

Rascal Flatts - My Wish
 

Faith Hill - Breathe
 

Billy Currington - That Changes Everything
 
 
Jessica Andrews - Who I Am
 

Alabama - Angels Among Us
 
 
Martina McBride - Blessed
 




 
 

 


Wednesday, January 06, 2010

God's Message is Powerful

A friend sent me an email with a website link to watch the following video: The Interview with GOD

The video features beautiful, soothing music, stunning nature photography, and powerful words that reflect God’s infinite wisdom.

Beyond the Video: A Transcript for Reflection

I dreamed I had an INTERVIEW WITH GOD.

“So you would like to interview me?” GOD asked.

“If you have the time,” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity… what questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered…

“That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money… and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.“

“That they live as if they will never die and die as though they had never lived.”

GOD’S hand took mine and we were silent for awhile.

And then I asked, “As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves me loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply do not yet know how to express or show their feelings.”

‘To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

“Thank you for your time,” I said humbly. “Is there anything else you’d like your children to know?”

GOD smiled and said…
 
"Just know that I am here." 
 
"ALWAYS!"
  

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy New Year!!!

I honestly have no idea where 2009 went. I didn't get nearly as much accomplished as I’d hoped, but I’m looking forward to a more productive 2010. My goal is to stick to these resolutions for longer than a week this time!
  • Practice Optimism: I want to take life one day at a time instead of worrying about the future. 
  • Beat Procrastination: I'll use to-do lists to stay organized and productive.
  • Prioritize Movement: I’ll continue my morning bed exercises and stay active with walking. 
  • Healthy Weight Gain: My goal is to reach 120 lbs by mid-March to prepare for my next surgery.
  • Food Freedom: I’m officially moving past restrictive diets like Phase 1 and Alkaline. I’ve learned I can tolerate grains without flare-ups, and I’m ready to enjoy food again—healthy, organic, and even the occasional gluten treat. It’s time to eat as nature intended! 
  • Gratitude: I’ll thank God daily for my life and express my deep appreciation to my family—especially my mom—and my friends for their tireless support during my hardest days. 
 
That covers the basics for now. Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

First Real Snow of the Season

Watch Out for the Snowballs! 
Winter doesn't officially start until Monday, but we woke up to a four-inch blanket of wet snow this morning. It made shoveling a chore, but it’s perfect for snowmen or a fort. I imagine there are plenty of snowball fights happening out there—though getting hit with a wet one is a great excuse for some 'revenge' by dropping snow down a friend's coat!
 
A Necessary Saturday Reset
Unfortunately, a cold finally caught up with me last night. It started with a sore throat, and while that has passed, the sneezing has begun. I headed to bed early last night, simply worn out. I felt a bit guilty sleeping until 10:00 this morning, but since it’s Saturday, I figured the rest was necessary. I still managed an hour of stretching and exercises in bed before getting up to get my blood circulating for the day.
 

Friday, December 18, 2009

Digestion Problems = Weight Loss

When Eating Becomes a Battle
Gaining weight has been a constant struggle lately—not because of an eating disorder, but due to a bile duct issue that went undiagnosed for two years. The pain after every meal became so intense that eating simply wasn't enjoyable anymore. In July, a surgeon found my bile duct was dilated to six times its normal size and then strictured so they inserted a stent to help the bile flow.
 
Persistence Through the Pain
While the stent was removed in October 2009 after clogging, the discomfort has recently returned. I’m fighting to not let the pain stop me from eating, but it’s a battle. At 5’9”, my weight dropped to 101 lbs last January. People told me I looked 'too thin,' but few understood that the pain was the real barrier. I’ve managed to gain 7 pounds since then, and I'm taking it one day at a time. 
 
Thanks for visiting, and happy surfing!"

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dusting Off the Blog: What I’ve Been Up To

Long Overdue Update
It has been over a year since my last post—November 2008, to be exact. I’m 49 now; a year older, though perhaps not much wiser! While I’m notorious for breaking New Year’s resolutions, I’m going to try to post twice a month. You heard it here first.
 
No More Tip-Toeing Around
A lot has happened since I was last here, most notably reconstructive surgery on my left foot. After walking on my toes for over 30 years, being able to stand with my foot flat on the ground feels nothing short of amazing.
 
Why Surgery Couldn't Wait Any Longer
My foot had reached a breaking point; over three decades, the bones had shifted so significantly that I had to use sponges to keep my toes from curling and digging into my shoes. I relied on custom-made shoes for years, but eventually, the ulcerated calluses became too much to manage. I knew it was finally time for surgery.
 



Four Major Corrections, One New Foot
My first surgery on August 4, 2008, involved four major corrections: flattening the protruding bones on the bottom of my foot, inserting pins to straighten my four hammer toes, removing a bunion, and fusing my big toe. The fusion was the hardest part to adjust to; because my big toe was now in a permanent, fixed position, both my walking boot and my subsequent custom shoes required a special indentation to ensure the toe never bore any weight.
 



 
Bracing for Impact—That Never Came
The pins in my toes ranged from four to over six inches long. When it came time to remove them, Dr. Lee clipped the white, pearl-like tips and told me he was ready to pull. I braced myself, eyes squeezed shut, chanting 'Oh no, oh no' in anticipation of the pain. Ten seconds later, I opened my eyes to tell him I was ready for the next one, only to find he’d already finished pulling all of them out!
 
Not Your Average Angel's Halo
My second surgery on October 24, 2008, was less extensive but far more painful. After thirty years of walking 'plantar fixed' (on my toes), my foot was stuck at a -42° angle rather than a flat 90°. To correct this, I was fitted with an external fixator—a 'halo.' It was held in place by six wires through my bones and two heavy bolts in my heel and shin for stability.

 




 
Bracing for the Unknown
The day after the 'halo' was installed, my surgeon shared a sobering concern: because years of RA had made my heel bone porous, he feared the wires might rip through as we adjusted the struts to bring my foot to 90°. I was grateful for the hospital's pain management at that moment; it kept my anxiety at bay.
 

Confined but Moving Forward

For 73 days, I was confined to a bed or wheelchair, relying on Spirit Medical Transport for every appointment. The most intense period was the two weeks spent turning the struts. Even in millimeter increments, the torque was so strong that my brother could feel the strain as he helped me.
 
One Down, One to Go!
When the halo finally came off on January 5, 2009, the relief was immense. I am no longer a 'ballerina' on my left foot—I can walk flat-footed! I never realized how incredible it would be to feel my heel with every step. My surgeons, Dr. Lee and Dr. DeCarbo in Columbus, were phenomenal. Though the recovery was painful and slow, Dr. DeCarbo’s patience was right: I just needed time. Now, I’m doing 110% better than I ever imagined. My next step (pun intended!) is to have my right foot done this April so I can be flat-footed on both sides by year’s end.
 

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Hanging in There

"For most of my life, 'hanging in there' has been my motto. I’m not always doing fantastic, but I’m doing okay—and honestly, I’ve learned to be grateful for that. Having lived with rheumatoid arthritis since I was nine, I’ve had to slow down as the years pass. It was a hard transition for a girl who grew up a total tomboy, happiest when I was riding my blue Schwinn or playing kickball and 'Ghost in the Graveyard' with the neighborhood boys.
 
On the days I played with my neighbors, Jayne and Joyce, I had no interest in their games of 'house' involving frilly dresses or jewelry. Instead, I’d play the husband coming home from work. I never quite understood the appeal of Barbie dolls, either; mine sat in a closet for fifteen years before I passed it on to my cousin’s daughter. I hope Josie found the joy in it that I never did."

Monday, July 03, 2006

Nice to Meet You!


Life in North Star
Hello, my name is Becky Bensman. I am 45 years old and live in North Star, Ohio, a village of fewer than 300 people. Living in a small town has its trade-offs. The downside is that the nearest store is 20 miles away. The upside, however, is the incredible kindness; you can always count on a friendly smile and a warm "How are you doing?" when walking down the street. When I consider the traffic and impersonal attitude of larger cities, I know I’d rather be right here. This has been my home my entire life.
 
Finding a Purpose Online
When I first discovered that Google offered free blogs, I wondered, Would anyone actually be interested in what I have to say? I decided to give it a try regardless. I figured that perhaps my words could help someone else—or better yet, that someone else’s experiences might help me.

This led me to title my blog "Walking With God By My Side." As you can see from my photos, my body is "not normal," and I am the first to admit that. The "curves" I have are the result of living with Rheumatoid Arthritis since July 1970, when I was diagnosed at age nine.




My Journey with Faith and Health
I haven’t always handled my condition perfectly. As a child, I spent many days crying in frustration, asking, "Why me?" Even now, I struggle with the aches and pains of daily life. However, my perspective has matured.

If I could share one truth, it is this: I would not be walking today without my faith. God has guided me through every obstacle, including the discovery that nutrition and exercise make all the difference. When I tell friends that a healthy foundation is just as vital for arthritis as it is for diabetes or weight loss, they often look at me skeptically. But I have lived this truth for years, and I know it works.
 
The Early Years: Diagnosis and Struggles
My illness began after a family vacation to Wisconsin. My mother found a tick in my ear, and our family doctor initially diagnosed me with rheumatic fever. When antibiotics failed to help my stiff, swollen joints, my parents took me to Children’s Hospital in Columbus. There, a specialist diagnosed me with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.
 
I was prescribed Cortisone, which made me feel much better but caused a devastating side effect: it suppressed my appetite. In three weeks, I dropped from a healthy 85 pounds to a "scrawny" 65 pounds. The doctor had to stop the medication, and I vividly remember the "withdrawal," pleading with my mother for the pills because they were the only things that took the pain away. It took over a year to regain that weight.
 
Surgeries and Setbacks
Between 1973 and 1978, I underwent various treatments, including gold injections that caused dangerous dizzy spells. Eventually, I turned to orthopedic surgery in Dayton:


  • Left Hand (1975): The surgeon repaired my wrist and knuckles. While I cannot straighten my fingers, I can now close my hand. Though I am naturally right-handed, I became ambidextrous out of necessity and use this hand for my computer mouse.
  • Right Hand (1976): My knuckles and joints were replaced with plastic and fused. Because my hand cannot open wide enough to hold a mouse, I use it primarily for writing.
  • Knees and Hips (1978): By my junior year of high school, I could only stand for 30 seconds at a time. I had both knees replaced in June 1978. Unfortunately, due to the use of casts after surgery, my knees never regained their flexibility. In August, I had my right hip replaced with a steel joint.
 
Because my knees do not bend fully, I still cannot sit or stand from a standard chair. I rely on specialized equipment: a "dentist" style office chair, a raised commode, a lift chair in my living room, and a lift seat in the car.
 
The Turning Point: Nutrition
By 1979, I had been in a wheelchair for eighteen months. I graduated high school through tutoring, but the pain was too great to consider work or college. At the time, I didn't realize my diet of junk food was making my inflammation worse.
 
That May, my parents met a woman named Pat Kremer, who recommended a chiropractor, Dr. E.R. Shore. He told me that to feel better, I had to eliminate sugar, salt, white flour, pork, and preservatives. It was a massive change, but I stuck to it. Within three months, I was back on my feet and walking with crutches. Twenty-seven years later, that regimen remains the foundation of my life.
 
A World Opened by Technology
Computers have been my lifeline. From my first Commodore 64 in 1979 to the Mac mini I use today, technology has changed everything.
 
In my early twenties, my life revolved around watching four different soap operas a day; I was so engrossed in those fictional stories because my own life felt so limited. The internet changed that. It widened my vision, allowing me to research, learn, and stay connected with loved ones via email. I am so grateful for the people who continue to innovate—it has truly enriched my life tenfold.